A World of Gray
by spooky sageheart
Summary: "In this world of battle, there is no black and white."/ Full summary inside. Rated T for violence and morality issues.
1. Allegiances and A few antics, for sure

_Warriors: A World of Gray_ **Full Summary**: "The Clans were home to peace and prosperity for a long time, long before the Great Journey, the Battle with BloodClan, or even Bluestar's birth. The four Clans had learned their lesson from a short but deadly war that cost each of them more lives than anyone would like to admit.

In ShadowClan, all was peaceful, until a WindClan border check goes wrong and ends violently. The Clans' delicate peace will be slowly ripped to shreds, throwing them into a war that will test the morality of even the most "pure-hearted" warriors and shedding light onto the darkest of "villains".

In this world of battle, there is no black and white."

**Rating**: T for violence, sometimes very heavy, and a severe lack of morality in both heroes AND villains.

**Authors' Note**: This is by far not my first story. I've done NaNoWriMo twice since my first story on here was published, and so I hope that this story fits the fancies of my readers.

A lot of it was inspired by the quote at the end of Hiromu Arakawa's _Fullmetal Alchemist_, which I found to be very moving, and a lot of the themes from there, and a few from _Avatar: The Last Airbender_. So if this story seems "different" than other Warriors stories (and I'm not sure that the way it's different is a good thing), then that is why.

Special thanks to my friends and family, you know who you are, to helping me work through this purgatory of a plot, and my beta reader, bunnyrave1.

**SPECIAL NOTE:** This will also be available for read with supplementary art and notes on a blog I have made for it, warriorsworldofgray (dot) blogspot (dot) com.

**ALLEGIANCES**

ShadowClan

Leader: Duskstar - light gray tabby tom with green eyes and white paws and chest.

Deputy: Heronfrost - white tom with sparse ginger spots and silvery eyes.

Medicine cat: Quailspots - mottled light brown she-cat with light gold eyes.

Apprentice - Icepaw: pale gray tom with amber eyes

Warriors:

Applefall - light brown tabby and white tom, green eyes.

Apprentice - Daisypaw: creamy brown she-cat with green eyes.

Blackstripe - silver tabby she-cat with distinctly dark stripes, bright yellow eyes.

Sootblaze - dark gray tabby and white tom, aqua blue eyes.

Adderpaw: mottled ginger tom with green eyes.

Blizzardtail - mottled brown and white she-cat with a fluffy white tail and orange eyes.

Eagleflight - dark brown tabby tom with blue eyes.

Sorrelclaw- solid dark ginger tom with yellow eyes.

Heatherstream - pretty light golden tabby she-cat with hazel eyes.

Ashpaw: gray tabby tom with green eyes.

Wrenstripe - pale gray tabby tom with golden eyes.

Ripplestorm - pale tabby tom with blue eyes.

Queens:

Lilytail - black and white she-cat with gold eyes; mother of Eagleflight's kits, Mudkit (brown tabby-and white she-cat with green eyes) and Shadowkit (black tom with amber eyes).

Hawkstorm - long- haired golden tabby she-cat with sharp orange eyes; mother of Sootblaze's kit Sagekit (gray tabby she-cat with blue eyes).

Vinewhisker - pointed blue-gray she-cat with green eyes; mother of Wrenstripe's kits, Willowkit (light gray and white she-cat with darker points, yellow eyes) and Birchkit (gray and white tom with darker points, hazel eyes).

Elders:

Redheart - very old dark ginger tabby tom with sightless yellow eyes.

Snowpelt - elderly white she-cat with blue eyes.

Graveltail - once-handsome brown tabby tom with green eyes.

WindClan

Leader: Whisperstar - silver-and-white she-cat with wide amber eyes.

Deputy: Gustheart - dark brown tabby tom with green eyes.

Medicine cat: Embertail - ginger tom, blue eyes.

Warriors:

Pikepelt - light gray tom, green eyes.

Oakfoot - red-brown tabby she-cat with darker paws, hazel eyes.

Foxflower - ginger tabby-and-white she-cat, blue eyes.

Apprentice: Nightpaw (gray she-cat)

Badgerfrost - huge black and white tom, dark orange eyes.

Silvershine - beautiful silver tabby and white she- cat with hazel eyes.

Queens:

Rosestripe - light ginger tabby she-cat with green eyes, expecting Gustheart's kits.

Sparkfang - tortoiseshell she-cat with orange eyes, mother of Thistlekit (brown tabby tom) and Stonekit (gray-brown tabby tom)

Elders:

Mistflight - silver tabby she-cat.

Tigerfoot - dark brown tabby tom, large paws.

ThunderClan

Leader: Umberstar - solid dark brown tom with golden eyes.

Deputy: Gorseheart - light golden tabby she-cat with green eyes.

Medicine Cat: Lichenwhisker - tortoiseshell she-cat with dark amber eyes.

RiverClan

Leader: Cardinalstar - red tabby she-cat with white paws and chest, green eyes

Deputy: Iristail - light brown she-cat with blue eyes

Medicine Cat: Harefoot - pale brown tabby tom, amber eyes.

**Quick Note, **"Hazel" refers to an eye color that is green and yellow, sometimes with flecks of orange.

_Chapter One: A few antics, for sure._

A scuffle under the moss of the nursery's nests. A giggle from across the den. A kit darted around to get a look at her prey, creeping forward slowly with the hunting crouch that had been taught to her by one of the apprentices, Adderpaw. She smirked, realizing her target was not aware that she was behind her yet; busily chatting away with her brother, as usual. Gathering her strength into her back legs, the kit prepared to make the jump, and-

Someone leaped on Mudkit's tail before she could even hear their paw steps on the mossy nursery floor, landing squarely and making her jump in the air and squeal in shock, before whipping around to see the face of her friend Willowkit. "I just wasn't paying attention that time is all!" She meowed, her tabby striped tail fluffed up in surprise. "I'm still WAY better at stalking and crouching than you!"

"Keep telling yourself that," Her assailant, Willowkit, chuckled. Mudkit gave a little _hmph_ of irritation before hearing her "target" laughing hysterically from where he had been talking to Mudkit's brother, Shadowkit, and Sagekit, a gray tabby kit. Her black-furred brother was laughing as well, but more discreetly and in a small chuckle.

"Shut up, Birchkit," She said, sounding more mopey than she intended. Willowkit's brother was still laughing, though, and she sunk her head into her paws and glared at the younger kit.

"Aw, don't be down, Mudkit," Birchkit said, flicking his gray tail. "We're not even apprentices yet, but when we get there," He sprang up for dramatic effect, startling Sagekit, "I'm going to best ALL of you at everything."

"And since I'm your sister, I'll have to be second best!" Willowkit added. "That kind of stuff runs in the family, you know!"

Sagekit looked up thoughtfully from where she was sitting next to Birchkit. "So does that mean I'm going to be smart like my daddy?" She asked none of the kits in particular.

Birchkit nodded exuberantly and said, "Yeah! And I'll be big and strong like Wrenstripe!"

"If I'm as big as my dad," Shadowkit said, "I'll be much bigger than you, Birchkit." Birchkit snorted, not seeming to take Shadowkit seriously at all. "But it wouldn't matter. I'd still beat you in a heartbeat fighting."

"Oh yeah?" Birchkit challenged playfully, and prepared to leap on Mudkit's brother. Sagekit had given the toms their space. It seemed appropriate; Sagekit was a close friend to Birchkit, and was thus prepared for his antics.

"Oh, grow up a little!" Mudkit sighed. "We'll be apprentices in less than a moon! Can you stand to not spar over every little thing?"

"You're one to talk," Shadowkit snorted, giving her a look through half-open amber eyes. Mudkit grew warm under her fur and looked away.

"Alright, alright," came a gentle voice; it was Lilytail, Mudkit and Shadowkit's mother. She was a pretty black and white she-cat, with soft, sleek fur. Mudkit hoped that her fur would look like her mother's when she grew up. "That's enough. We don't need you all fighting in here; Shadowkit, Willowkit, you two are quite near the size of apprentices!"

Mudkit sighed and padded over to where she could curl up next to her mother and brother. "I want to be an apprentice soon," Shadowkit mewed under his breath as he curled up. "I'm going to be the best I can," he told their mother sincerely. Mudkit nodded earnestly in agreement, and Lilytail smiled at her two kits, licking them on the head each in turn.

"I know you will," she purred, but there was a look in her eyes that confused Mudkit. Her mother almost looked sad. But before she had any time to think on it, an urgent yowl pierced the air around ShadowClan's camp. Hawkstorm, Sagekit's mother, shot up suddenly, and Vinewhisker, Willowkit and Birchkit's mother, brushed her kits back. "Hold on," Lilytail meowed quietly to her kits, whisking up and peering out of the nursery entrance with the other two queens.

The chorus of meows and cries outside the den was louder than usual, perking Mudkit's interest, and she perked her ears. Next to her, Shadowkit began to creep forward, and despite how much Mudkit wanted to as well, she stepped on his sleek black tail firmly. He yelped quietly and turned around. "Mom said to stay here, flea-brain!" Mudkit hissed at her brother. Shadowkit looked like he might argue, however, he just grumbled but did not return to sitting.

All of a sudden, there was an explosion of the noise outside the den, and Hawkstorm gasped, dashing out of the bramble-reinforced thistle den. Mudkit shuddered a bit, letting go of Shadowkit's tail, but her brother didn't dare move when the two heard cries of pain and horror from the warriors outside.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Birchkit padding up to the gap bravely, with Willowkit shortly behind. As soon as Sagekit's mother had left, she scampered to the hole in the brambles and stood on her hind paws, trying to see over what Mudkit assumed would be a large crowd. _You'd know for sure if you just went and looked for yourself,_ a voice in her head chided, and she sighed outwardly.

Relenting, Mudkit crept forward, almost afraid that her mother would appear behind her and put her back to the nest. She flicked Shadowkit with her tail, and her brother, looking confused and indignant, followed at her side to the nursery entrance. The queens had apparently stopped caring whether or not the kits were there; they were far too focused on the scene. Lilytail had a look of horror on her face.

The crowd parted as Quailspots fought her way through, giving Mudkit a clear line of sight, and judging by the horrified gasp from Shadowkit, her brother saw, too. Near the center of the clearing, Sootblaze, Sagekit's father, Blizzardtail and her apprentice Adderpaw, and Heronfrost, the deputy, were being inspected; they were all hunched over and bleeding. Wrenstripe, Willowkit and Birchkit's father, rushed over to help out the strained Medicine Cat.

Before anything else could be done, though, a gray blur shot up the tree in the center of the clearing. A moment later, Duskstar, the ShadowClan leader, stood on the Lowbranch overlooking the Clan. "All cats who are old enough to catch their own prey gather underneath the Lowbranch for a Clan meeting!" Duskstar's voice was strained; Mudkit had never heard his meow crack like that before.

Lilytail turned to all the kits and meowed quietly, "We'll be right back. Stay here and stay out of trouble." Mudkit nodded, nervous about what Duskstar would announce. "Good. We'll be back soon."

The moment his mother was out of earshot, Birchkit whispered, "Come on! We've gotta hear what they're saying." Shadow was already crouched by the entrance, and flicked his tail.

"If you get down here and stay quiet, you can hear well," Mudkit's brother affirmed. _That makes sense,_ she thought, and huddled down next to him, pricking her ears forward. To her other side, Willowkit sat upright, looking over the clearing with an interested expression. Mudkit didn't think about it much longer, though, because she was able to hear Duskstar's words faintly now.

"...WindClan becoming hostile..." Was the first thing she heard, and Mudkit couldn't suppress a shiver. _Will they attack us? Is that what happened to Sootblaze?_ "Heronflight, I want you to increase WindClan border patrols..." _To keep us safe? That's smart, but what if the patrol gets hurt?_ She thought. _Who would come help them, then?_

Mudkit was surprised when suddenly, Willowkit gasped, "I've got it!" and dashed to the back of the den. She exchanged a glance with Shadowkit, who shrugged, and the siblings turned to their friend, who was beckoning them with her tail. Mudkit had rather wanted to hear the end of the meeting, but grudgingly followed the gray she-cat to the back. Once there, Willowkit lowered her head, signaling for the four other kits to do the same. "We should have a border patrol of our own!" the she-kit whispered excitedly.

"You're batty," Sagekit said, and Birchkit nudged her shoulder gently.

"No I'm not! See," Willowkit explained, "Enemy Clans aren't allowed to neglect kits, let alone harm us, so it's not even dangerous!" She lashed her tail in excitement. "And we can be a real patrol and see if WindClan are really being 'hoss-tie-yul' or whatever." She waved the question off. "Not to mention, we could go hunting, and bring something back to the Clan! How impressive would that be?"

Mudkit was equal parts apprehensive and interested. _Mom would kill me if we snuck out of camp...but what if we settled things with WindClan? Warriors couldn't hurt kits, and they might tell us why they'd hurt Sagekit's father._ "All right, I think we should!" Birchkit exclaimed, jumping up and down excitedly. "You're so smart, sis!" He purred, pressing his face to Willowkit's.

Willowkit pulled away, embarrassed. "All right, yes, I'm a genius. What about the rest of you?" She asked, scanning the three remaining kits. "It'll hardly be a fun patrol if we only have the two of us..."

Mudkit looked at her brother, who looked as excited as she'd ever seen him. "Let's do it!" He whispered to her, and Mudkit nodded in response. _There's no way I'm going to miss this!_ Shadowkit then turned to Sagekit, who was looking thoughtful, and whispered to her, and reluctantly, the little gray tabby nodded. "All right, looks like we're all going!"

"Great!" Willowkit purred. "We should do it tonight, then. It'll let us practice our _night vision_! And we can figure it all out sooner rather than later. Shadowkit, will you wake us all up?" The black tom nodded self-importantly. "Excellent!"

Mudkit wanted to say how great it was going to be, but first, she heard Duskstar dismiss the Clan meeting. _Uh-oh!_ "The meeting's ending!" she said "Come on, act natural!"

Hawkstorm was the first to enter; Sagekit was picking at her moss nest when her mother ushered her out of the den with her tail. "I'm taking Sagekit to go see Sootblaze," she said to Lilytail. "He was asking for her. I'll be back soon."

Mudkit sat there, not speaking for a moment, until an idea popped into her head. _If I ask what the Clan gathering was about, mom will NEVER guess that we have a plan to find out what WindClan's up to!_ She glanced over to Shadowkit, who donned a confused expression as she looked, before turning her head to face her mother's and asking, "So what was the meeting about, mother?"

Lilytail looked at her kits, a pained expression on her black-and-white face. "Duskstar fears we may go to war with WindClan, my dears," she meowed tightly, wrapping her tail protectively over her kits. "You see, they have a new leader, Whisperstar, and a long time ago, her parents were killed in a brutal battle with ShadowClan. She was very upset, and...it spurred her rise to power."

Mudkit shuddered, and Shadowkit nodded. "Oh..." Her mother nodded absently, and laid her head down. Mudkit gave a heavy sigh and dropped her head to her paws. _I'm glad we have a plan to stop this before it starts!_ She thought. The nursery stayed silent for a while, until she heard Sagekit come back in with her mother, and the two of them stretched out for some sleep as well.

It was dark when Mudkit opened her eyes to a small paw prodding her side. "Come on, sleepy head!" Shadowkit said. "The queens are asleep, and we need to get going!" Her brother's paws were shaking with excitement; she could feel it through her fur. Gently and quietly, Mudkit rose to her paws and backed off of the mossy nest. Shadowkit scampered off to wake Birchkit and Willowkit, and Sagekit was sitting up, looking fully awake.

A few moments later, and not without worry that they would step on queens' tails or accidentally wake someone up, they were a standing outside the entrance to the nursery, with Willowkit in the lead. "All right, how do you guys think we should get out?"

"You mean you don't have a plan?" Sagekit asked. "This is completely insane, Willowkit!" She said as Willowkit shook her head. Mudkit couldn't help but begin to wonder if this was a good idea in the first place.

"Well, do you know a way out, wisdom-whiskers?" Willowkit asked.

Birchkit pricked his ears. "I do! Follow me!" Mudkit crouched down and followed as Birchkit sneaked quietly around the nursery entrance and over to what appeared to be a tear in ShadowClan's bramble walls. "I found this two moons ago when Vinewhisker let me go explore the camp. I saw the break, and figured that if we ever had an attack, we could sneak out here. Neat, right?" With that, he slipped out and into the woods, leaving the four other kits to exit behind him.

"Here we come," Willowkit said, and squeezed out behind her brother. Mudkit pushed herself through the brambles next, squeaking as one of the thorns poked her back, and scrambled out. Shadowkit followed her, barely managing to squeeze through due to his large size, and lastly, Sagekit stepped out, her small body unmarred by the spikes.

Mudkit was trembling with excitement upon finally being in the marshes of ShadowClan's territory. "We're finally here!" said Willowkit. "Now, let's take care of those WindClanners!"

**Author's Note:** Let it be known that flames are welcome, but they will likely be ignored if they are truly too obnoxious. Reviews and ESPECIALLY constructive criticism is highly appreciated.


	2. Mission: Irrational

**Author's note:** Again, special thanks to my beta, bunnyrave1, whom I believe I mistakenly called by her other Internet handle in my previous chapter. Sorry bout that.

Again, this can also be read on warriorsworldofgray (dot) blogspot (dot) com. Soon enough, I will be uploading pictures and in-depth character bios on there.

And special thanks to all who reviewed! I very much appreciate the interest.

Now watch as things get bad.

_Chapter Two: Mission: Irrational._

Sagekit shifted her paws awkwardly as the group of kits stood outside ShadowClan's camp. Shadowkit and Mudkit were looking around, eyes wide, while Willowkit was thinking out loud to herself. Birchkit was standing next to Sagekit, his yellow eyes observing the other kits. "This wouldn't be such a bad time to try talking to them, you know," he meowed. Sagekit just shrugged. "You need more than just one friend, Sagekit."

"But I only need one best friend, and my mom says one friend that you really care about is worth more than a forest full of 'buddies'."

Birchkit just sighed and stretched slightly, and looked Sagekit in the eye. "We live in Clans. You're going to have to get used to living around a lot of cats." Sagekit shrugged, praying to StarClan that he was going to drop the subject. The gray tom looked like he might say more, when Willowkit spoke up.

"So...anyone know how to get to the WindClan border from here?"

Mudkit, an astonished look on her brown tabby face, wheeled around and asked, "You mean we came all the way out here without a plan?" Willowkit nodded hesitantly. "I'm getting the feeling this was a BAD idea! And I doubt anyone here knows what WindClan smells like!"

Sagekit thought back for a moment to the sight of her father laying in Quailspots' den with his shoulder torn, and the incredible stench that hung over his fur. "I-I-" Sagekit stopped talking as all heads turned to her, and her ears went hot. "Uh...I know what WindClan smells like."

Shadowkit pricked his ears. "Really? How?"

Before Sagekit could even take a breath, another voice broke through. "Oh, because her dad was on that patrol!" Willowkit exclaimed. "Well, then, lead the way!"

_Great. Responsibility._ Sagekit lifted her nose, and caught a faint scent of where the warriors that had been on the patrol had re-entered the camp. "The trail starts over here," she said, and continued on ahead of the other kits.

Birchkit caught up to her quickly. "Wow, way to make a positive impression on them during that moment of attention."

Sagekit turned to him, feeling a bit deflated. "It's not that I don't like them...it's just..."

"It's just what?"

"It's hard for me, okay?"

Birchkit nodded thoughtfully. "Right. Well, we best follow that trail then, shouldn't we?" Sagekit flicked her tail as a response. "I still think you should try and make friends with them, you know," Birchkit meowed. "But I'll always be your friend."

Sagekit purred. "Thank you." She lowered her nose to the trail, sniffing up some of the near-leaf-fall dirt, and she sneezed slightly. But she had the trail now, and she was NOT going to let herself lose it.

"Ugh," Birchkit said. "Is that yucky stench really WindClan?" Sagekit nodded briefly. "How can they LIVE with themselves smelling like that?"

"I don't know." Sagekit shrugged, and Birchkit sighed, falling back further in the line. Within the next few moments, the whole kit-patrol knew that it was WindClan they were smelling. To Sagekit, they smelt MUCH too heavily of dirt. Mud wasn't as pungent, in her opinion.

"Know where we're going?" She heard Shadowkit meow from the back, and she nodded, hoping that he saw. No need for two cats to follow the same trail. Apparently he hadn't seen, though, because a few moments later, he asked again. "Hey, Sagekit, do you know where we're going?"

"Yeah," She looked back to see Shadowkit nod, obviously thinking that she hadn't heard him the first time.

They took an easy pace through the forest, but Sagekit did her best to stay ahead of the rest of the group, even Birchkit. He was busily chatting away with his sister. _Sometimes I envy them. They always have each other: Brother and sister for all time. It would be...nice._ Sagekit couldn't help but think, _Maybe if I had a sibling, I wouldn't be afraid of talking to my denmates. _

But then again, neither Mudkit, Willowkit, nor Shadowkit had made too much of an attempt to talk to her...or maybe she was expecting too much of them? After all, maybe, when they became apprentices, _all_ of them would become close. _Well, Hawkstorm said she had to wait for moons before Sootblaze noticed her,_ Sagekit reasoned. _It would make sense._

The scent of the WindClan cats was becoming stronger now. They probably still weren't out of the middle of ShadowClan territory yet, but they were getting closer. Sagekit's thoughts were interrupted by a squeal from behind, a collective pair of _thud_s, and a slight moan of pain. She turned to see that Shadowkit had fallen over on top of Birchkit, effectively smashing the smaller kit into the marshy ground, and Sagekit tried not to snicker.

"Whoa," Shadowkit meowed, surprised. "I'm sorry. Are you okay, Birchkit?" The gray tom nodded and stood up, but he was shaking. All mirth that she had possessed at the sight of her best friend planted in the muddy ground of ShadowClan's territory disappeared as she realized that Birchkit wasn't applying full pressure to one of his legs.

Willowkit turned to her brother and pressed up against his side. "No you're not," She said. "Your leg's been hurt, you flea-brain."

"I'm fine," Birchkit said, but when he tried to step away from her side, the apparent pain in his paw made him stumble. Sagekit took a few paw steps forward, ready to help him should he try to move more than he could handle.

Mudkit padded over to her brother, flattening her ears. "Be a bit more careful, mouse-brain!" Sagekit could tell, however, that underneath the growling tone, she wasn't really mad; she was just worried that he'd hurt someone else. Shadowkit, however, just drooped his head and flicked his tail dejectedly.

Sagekit looked on at the scene awkwardly, not sure whether she should say something, and saw that Mudkit was already poised to help Birchkit any more if he needed it. Taking a deep breath, she turned to Shadowkit, who sat on his haunches and glared at ShadowClan's marsh, as if blaming them for the fall. _That doesn't seem too far from the truth, actually._

"Uh," Shadowkit turned his attention to her, blinking in confusion. _Have I made so little of an effort to be friendly before?_ "You know, it's not your fault. I mean...We've never been out here before." Sagekit deeply wished she had chosen against saying anything, because for one, she sounded like a total mouse-brain, and for two, she probably just should have gone to Birchkit. He would appreciate the attempt, even though he didn't need any more help.

But to her surprise, Shadowkit just blinked. "Uh...thanks, Sagekit." He flicked his tail, looking at her with an expression that mixed discomfort and gratitude, and padded over to the other kits who were helping Birchkit.

Sagekit sighed heavily. _That was WAY too hard. _Nevertheless, she turned back to the group, and saw that Birchkit was now standing despite the lack of weight placed on his paw. She padded over and asked, "You doing okay there?"

He nodded; there was a faint cast of pain over his eyes. "I can walk, for sure," he said, and took a few paces forward. "Lead the way, Sagekit."

Quietly, Sagekit resumed her post at the front of the line and picked up WindClan's dirt scent-trail. _When I find them, I'll find out why they hurt my father like that._ She shuddered at the memory of his ripped, bleeding shoulder, and felt the urge not to gag. _I hate how painful that looked. I can't let this go unanswered._

They were all walking side by side now, with Sagekit a bit ahead of the others. Birchkit pulled up to her side and meowed, "Do you think we're getting close? I don't really feel like we are."

Sagekit shook her head. "I think we'll know it when we smell it. I think we've got a little more walking before we get to the actual border..."

Birchkit nodded and opened his mouth to taste the air. "It's really heavily intermingled with our scent here, so we still have a ways to go." Sagekit blinked in surprise. _How does he know that?_ Birchkit saw her expression and purred a bit. "Haha, can't really distinguish?" She shook her head. "Hm. Maybe that's just you, or maybe it's just me that can."

Sagekit laughed a bit under her breath, but cut off when a night breeze blew through ShadowClan territory, bringing with it a much heavier scent of WindClan. She looked up, tasting the air and pricking her ears. "Smell that?" Birchkit nodded. "We're getting really close."

"Tell the others, then." Sagekit shook her head stubbornly. _I know what you're trying to do, and I don't want to do it. So there._ "Come on, Sagekit. You've spoken to all of them before, and you JUST spoke to Shadowkit. How bad can it be?"

Sagekit sighed and turned around. "Hey, we're getting pretty close," she meowed, and Willowkit pricked her ears.

"Great! We can finally give WindClan what's coming to them!" Mudkit nodded, and purred exuberantly.

"I thought this was a peaceful patrol," Shadowkit said, and Willowkit nodded. "So, how do you 'give WindClan what's coming to them' peacefully?" Willowkit stared at him hard for a moment, and the black tom kit took a step in the opposite direction. Sagekit looked on, inwardly amused.

"That doesn't really matter, Shadowkit," Mudkit meowed, waving the question off and yawning. "Besides, the sooner this patrol is done, the quicker we can go back as heroes and get some sleep." _As if we'll be greeted as heroes. We'll be seen as kits sneaking out at night until WindClan actually tells ShadowClan what we did. That's if this patrol even works, which I can only hope it will._

The scent of WindClan was powerful now, and Sagekit vaguely wondered if there were any warriors nearby for them to talk to. Willowkit sniffed the air loudly. "Wow, we're almost at the border!" She gave a little bounce, but suddenly froze, flicking her ears in all directions. "We've got to be quieter, though," she whispered, dropping down to a low sneak and creeping behind a bramble thicket. "Let's go find a patrol. If they're being hoss-tie-yul, then they're going to be constantly looking in on us, right?"

That made sense, so Sagekit ducked down behind the bush with the other kits. She accidentally walked into Birchkit when she wasn't paying attention, and apologized quietly, but apparently, it was just loud enough. Because a moment later, there was the sound of pawsteps nearby, and a gruff voice said, "All right, ShadowClan slime, who's over there? Show yourselves!"

This time, upon observation, even Willowkit looked nervous, but before she could hesitate, Birchkit stepped forward. Sagekit shivered as her best friend squeezed through the undergrowth. Next, his sister followed, and Sagekit stepped out from behind the thorns next. She heard Shadowkit and Mudkit follow behind, but did not turn to see.

She shuddered as she saw what they were faced with, though. A huge dark brown tabby tom was glaring down at them with acidic green eyes. With him, there was a light gray tom, his face twisted into a cruel sneer at the kits, a powerful black-and-white tom, and a ginger she-cat with dark paws. The latter two held very neutral expressions; the black-and-white one especially concerned.

The first two, however, were a completely different story.

"Well what do we have here?" The light gray tom said. "ShadowClan kits, away from camp at such a late time of night?"

"Silence, Pikepelt," the black-and-white tom said, shooting a furious glare at him. He turned back to face the kits. "Why are you away from camp, young ones?"

Willowkit looked like she was about to speak up when the dark brown tabby chuckled coldly. "It doesn't matter, Badgerfrost. You all heard Whisperstar's orders." He twisted his face into a wicked snarl.

The black-and-white tom, Badgerfrost, gasped. "No! Gustheart, you can't be serious. They're just kits!" The reddish-brown she-cat looked uncomfortable, but she did not say anything, or could not, because Gustheart spoke up again a moment later.

Gustheart turned on the black-and-white tom. "**I** am the deputy, and I'm following the leader's orders! Do as I say, or I'll report you for treason!" Badgerfrost glared furiously at him, and shook his broad head stubbornly. Gustheart spat. "Fine! See how well things go for you back at camp! What will your mate say? And her newborn kits?"

"What would my kits say if they knew what their father had done?"

Gustheart snorted. "All right. We can do without you, you useless boulder." He turned his green eyes to the kits. "Time to follow through with orders."

"Wait!" Willowkit exclaimed, and Gustheart turned his terrifying gaze to her. Sagekit thought that the gray-and-white kit would drop with fear, but she held her ground. "I dont' know what you want to do, but we're just here to talk to you! We wanted to find out why you hurt Sagekit's father."

Pikepelt, the gray tom, stepped forward, his ears pricked and the sneer still on his face. "Oh? And who is her father?" He asked, his voice sounding oddly concerned. _That's not right with his expression_.

"Sootblaze, a dark gray tabby and white tom," Shadowkit said. Sagekit was beginning to feel very uncomfortable. _Why did Badgerfrost look so horrified?_

Gustheart's eyes lit up at that. "Aaah, Sootblaze. I know who hurt him..." He trailed off into a snicker that sent shivers down Sagekit's spine, and she took a step back, running into Shadowkit, who in turn stepped back a bit more. The dark brown tabby's eyes found her, though, and she began to feel like a shriveling leaf. "Your father, then?" Hesitantly, Sagekit nodded. "Well, I'll tell you who it was that hurt him." He snickered again. "That would be me."

"WHAT?" Mudkit took a step back. "Why would you do that to him?"

"Why not?" Pikepelt laughed, throwing his gray head back. "Besides, it's all according to orders! Which we have some to attend to, by the way."

"And what would that be?" Birchkit sounded braver than Sagekit had ever felt, and the light gray tom stepped forward to stand right in front of the patrol.

Badgerfrost turned to Pikepelt. "Please, I beg you, don't do this-"

He was cut off by a lash of Gustheart's tail. Pikepelt just glowered at him, before turning back to Birchkit. "Destroy any patrol you find."

Sagekit's body went cold. _He doesn't seem to want to take pity on kits._

Horror struck Sagekit as, all in an instant, Pikepelt had dove down and picked Birchkit up in his teeth by the neck, biting him fiercely. Willowkit screeched and threw herself at the gray tom's leg, but he swatted her away with claws unsheathed. She heard the sounds of the red she-cat leaping into battle with Shadowkit and Mudkit, but was in such shock from Birchkit's squeals of pain that she didn't turn her head.

Sagekit was about to leap at Pikepelt to help her friend when a dark brown paw got in her way. She looked up, trembling, to see Gustheart standing over her, and before she could react, there was something blocking one eye, and then a split second later, something sharp digging into the loose skin around her eye.

She wailed in pain as the flesh around her eye was punctured and scraped along. Sagekit heard Shadowkit exclaim in horror, and a wail of pain as Willowkit was knocked down again, but she couldn't pay attention. The agony that gripped her as Gustheart dug into her like a piece of prey, laughing under his breath the whole way, was too much for her.

She had only wanted to help, to find out what her father had been hurt for. And what if she was to die for it? What would be accomplished from an injured tom losing his only kit? In spite of everything, she felt a pang of guilt. _None of us should have come. And now we're going to die for it. Is that how it ends?_

Gustheart dug in deeper, but Sagekit barely managed a faint cry of pain. This tom would certainly kill her. There wasn't much left to do; her consciousness was leaving her. All she could make out around her were cries of pain, and she could swear she heard the crunch of a breaking bone.

But abruptly, there were new cries, those of anger, and she was dropped to the ground. Sagekit could not force her body to move now. Warm, wet blood was pooling over her face, and her eyes would not open, but she thought she could smell warriors of her own Clan. The sounds of battle faded, only to be replaced by the faint whimpering and crying of injured kits.

Breath tickled her fur as a cat leaned down to her weak body. "Oh, StarClan, how could you let this happen to them?" A voice-_Hawkstorm?_ She couldn't tell. Her hearing was fading as well. As gentle teeth picked her up by the scruff, Sagekit could feel the blood dripping off of her and onto the marshy ground.

The last thing she thought of before she fell into a turbulent darkness were those green eyes.

**Author's Note:** Uh...yes. For all of you who were aware that this story wasn't going to be happy...now you know. Flames, crits, and general comments are all welcomed.

And things only get worse from here. You have been warned...

_Fun fact: _I wrote a Warriors fanfic for NaNo two years back that featured a major villain that possessed acidic green eyes. Some WindClan characters have names that are homage to major characters in that fic, that I might upload later on...


	3. It's Always Darkest

**A/N:** Nothing much to say except that the plot and stuff REALLY kicks off here. Thanks to everyone paying attention, and to Cami Errant for beta-ing.

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><p><em>Chapter Three<em>: _It's always darkest..._

The last thing Willowkit knew before the angry yowls was being flung back by a strong, heavy paw into a tree. And then...

Silence. There was silence all around her.

_The battle..._

Willowkit twitched her ear-not dead. That was the first relief. But there was warm blood leaking from top of her muzzle, and she felt dizzy. A nose touched her side; she recognized ShadowClan's scent. "Are you awake?" Struggling, she managed to wrench open her eyelids, and raised her head. Right in her line of sight was her father, his eyes full of concern. Wrenstripe sighed. "Thank StarClan. I can't...what were you kits thinking?"

Willowkit winced, despite the fact that her father didn't sound angry, just worried and tired. "We wanted to help," she said, voice cracked, much to her disappointment. "We heard what WindClan did, and..."

Wrenstripe gave a slight growl of frustration. "That was very irresponsible, Willowkit." She shrank back against the roots of the tree. "But it seems you've been punished enough from it. I can't tell you how worried your mother and I were."

"She's here? Where is she? Is she mad at me?"

Her father shook her head, but there was something in his eyes that told her that she wasn't out of the woods yet. "She's getting Birchkit."

Willowkit's heart plummeted. "That cat, Pikepelt...he picked him up and shook him. Will Birchkit be okay, daddy?" Wrenstripe didn't respond. "Daddy?"

"We don't know, Willowkit. We just don't know." He turned back to her. "Can you stand?" Willowkit nodded, and with an extreme effort, and much protesting from her muscles, she stood up and staggered. Wrenstripe steadied her with his shoulder. Her dizziness just amplified, though.

Willowkit looked around. Mudkit was hunched over, whimpering; one of her paws was not touching the ground, and blood leaked from a wrenched claw. Shadowkit sat taller, but there was a slash along his shoulder and a few patches where fur had been clawed clean off. Sagekit was being held from the scruff by her mother; half of her gray face was covered in still wet and sticky blood. Willowkit shuddered, unable to look any longer, and began glancing around for Birchkit.

Finally, she saw Vinewhisker pick him up by the scruff as well. His body was limp in her mother's jaws, and unintentionally Willowkit remembered how, in the fight, Pikepelt had done the same to her brother. First it had been his neck, but he had broken free, and next, it had been his whole body, shaken back and forth, with sharp fangs around his chest and back.

Willowkit wanted to vomit. _And if I stay this dizzy, I might just._

"Come on." Willowkit looked up at her father. "We have to go back to camp. Quailspots is going to be waiting for us." Willowkit nodded, and staggered off alongside her father. Her muzzle stung and her heart wrenched. _Why? _she thought. _Why would they do this to us?_ She hissed quietly under her breath, shaking her head, and feeling anxiety creep over her. _This was all my fault! If it wasn't for my mouse-brained idea, we wouldn't be out here..._

For a while, she didn't pay attention to how long the trek to camp was. Willowkit was too occupied with her thoughts; she couldn't stop thinking about how cruelly the WindClan cats had treated them, how brutally they had injured her brother and Sagekit.

There was a rustling beside her as a cat fell in line next to. Surprised, she whipped her head around to see Mudkit hobbling beside her on three of four legs. Her guilt came crashing back, and Willowkit ducked her head. "What?"

Willowkit sighed. "This was my fault!" She glanced sidelong up at Mudkit, who looked confused. "I shouldn't have suggested sneaking out. Now look what happened, all because of me!" She caught her father glancing at her in the corner of her vision, looking dully surprised. _I also should have kept my voice down._

Mudkit shook her head. "It's not all your fault." Willowkit looked up, confused. "I mean, we probably shouldn't have gone out...but you can't say that the way WindClan treated us was your fault."

"They said they would attack any patrol regardless." Willowkit jumped as Shadowkit snuck up beside them, looking completely serious. As she regained her nerves, the black tom flicked his tail. "You COULD see it as saving a patrol of warriors."

Willowkit chuckled humorlessly, but then the anxiety of the situation came crashing back. "But...what about Sagekit and Birchkit? What'll happen to them?" Mudkit and Shadowkit exchanged glances in surprise.

"They're not going to die..." Shadowkit cast his glance back to their injured denmates, but his voice lacked any confidence. Mudkit cast him a glance, and Willowkit nodded limply and slowed her pace, letting the two siblings go on ahead of her, and turned to find her mother and brother. On the way, she saw Sagekit's body hanging in the jaws of her mother; her face didn't seem to be bleeding anymore, and she was breathing, but there were deep gouges around her eye that made Willowkit shudder.

Vinewhisker was still carrying Birchkit by the scruff when . _He looks so...small,_ she thought. His body hung loosely in Vinewhisker's jaws as she carried him. Her mother looked at her from above, and Willowkit averted her eyes, the pain of her jarring transgression clawing at her heart just by looking in her own mother's eyes.

_We should never have come._

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><p>Back at camp, Quailspots had put some poultice on her cut muzzle, and since her parents were spending the night in the den with Birchkit, she too was forced to stay. She envied Shadowkit and Mudkit, who got to leave. Willowkit couldn't sleep the whole night, even with the poppy seeds, and was wide awake as she listened to Vinewhisker and Wrenstripe talk to Quailfeather about Birchkit's condition.<p>

It was too much, listening to them speak so urgently; even if she could not make out the words fully, the tone was enough. She shuddered every time they passed words, and she found herself panting so much that at one point Quailspots actually came over to check on her. She had been told to sleep again, to which she halfheartedly agreed to try, and then immediately resumed staring at the walls of the medicine cat den, wide-eyed and exhausted.

Just before sunrise, she not only hadn't slept a wink, but was now becoming increasingly aware of what was going on in the den, more so than just the whispers of her parents and the medicine cat. Quailspots was making trips back and forth between the most injured, until she deemed Sagekit to be safe, albeit permanently scarred-Willowkit heard something from her mother before she left about her face being bitten open. Her father, still stuck in the den from his torn shoulder, had moved nests next to hers; Sootblaze was asleep as well now. Again, Willowkit found herself envious.

For a little while, all she could hear was her parents talking quietly to Quailspots as she worked on Birchkit. Then their voices started getting louder. More...panicked.

The crescendo continued, and Willowkit jerked up out of her nest and scrambled over, fear heavy in her veins. She squeezed through her mother and father, who barely reacted to her entrance.

Birchkit was laying on the moss, eyes closed and stomach and back torn open, but there was something she hadn't noticed; there was a bend in his back, like a broken branch, right between his shoulders and the end of his ribs. His breathing was quick and it didn't seem like any air was getting into him.

Vinewhisker looked up at Quailspots pleadingly. "Please, do something!"

Quailspots stayed completely focused on her patient, and Willowkit looked back down at her brother. _What's going on? What's wrong with him?_ Something held her back from asking, and she trembled as his breathing continued to quicken. The medicine cat switched from prying his jaws open to pressing on his chest, and when she did, he seemed to breathe easier. For a moment, Willowkit felt relieved.

But just as soon as his breathing improved, it got shallower than before. "Come on, Birchkit!" Quailspots said. "Stay with us!" Willowkit took a step towards her brother, and could not suppress a whimper as it faded...faded...faded...

And with the first light of morning, his breathing stopped.

For a few heartbeats, Quailspots kept pressing on his chest, trying to get him to breathe, but she looked at the kit's body helplessly, and backed off. Willowkit looked up, her throat tight and her heart beating fast. "Why did you stop? You have to help him breathe, Quailspots!"

The medicine cat looked wearily at her. "Oh, Willowkit..." Above her head, Vinewhisker let out a wail, and there was a choked sob from her father.

_No..._

Willowkit backed up, flattening her ears. "N-no...that's not...he can't be..." But somehow, despite her prayers to StarClan that he was okay, the chill that had settled within her presented only one clear thought.

Birchkit was dead.

Vinewhisker wrapped her tail around Willowkit, and she was barely able to move, let alone resist, as her mother pulled her in and pressed her muzzle to her daughter's face. "Oh, StarClan. How could you take him from us?" Wrenstripe said.

_If I hadn't organized this mouse-brained patrol..._

Quailspots watched them weakly, and looked about ready to turn away, when Vinewhisker looked up at her. "Why?" That simple question seemed to be too much for the medicine cat, and she shook her head. "Please..."

"I wish I knew." Quailspots said, her ears and tail drooping. "I'm so sorry."

Wrenstripe nodded, his eyes clouded with sorrow, but did not speak. Vinewhisker just winced and shook her head. Willowkit felt frozen to the spot, as the reality of the situation slowly seeped in.

Her brother was dead, and it was her fault.

Her stomach clenched, and she let out a choked sob. Her heart was ripping and tearing itself apart, shouting at her horrible accusations of guilt and stupidity. She tore away from her parents, who, in their grief, didn't seem to notice, and stumbled to her nest, flopping down on the moss like a rock.

_Nothing will _ever_ be the same._

Willowkit cursed her stupidity silently, pleading to StarClan that they never allow her to do something so mouse-brained again.

But then she remembered what Mudkit said. _"It's not all your fault."_

_ I couldn't have stopped them from killing him..._Willowkit slowly lifted her head, realization coming over her, and her neck fur began to bristle. _Yes...They're the ones who killed my brother. WindClan did it, not me._ She snarled quietly, and dug her claws into the moss of her nest.

_And I will make them pay._

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><p><strong>AN:** And here comes the plot. Willowkit definitely has some guilt issues.

Reviews are highly appreciated, as are flames. Seriously.

Also, so far, Willowkit is the most fun to write.

As some might know, I'll be starting to post my characters' info on my blog for this fanfic, warriorsworldofgray (dot) blogspot (dot) com. I will also soon begin uploading some of my drawings for this fanfic~~


	4. The Determinator

**A/N: **If you go back to the Allegiances within the next few minutes, you will see that two apprentices, Daisypaw and Ashpaw, have been taken out. That's because...well, in the initial writing process, I was adding a ton of apprentices to my allegiances, because I like to put a bunch of characters in and edit out...and I forgot to take them out. Sorry about that.

Special thanks to the lovely Leran (bunnyrave1) for being the beta for this chapter.

**Please, please, PLEASE remember, I prefer to hear from everyone at warriorsworldofgray (dot) blogspot (dot) com!**

Also remember that chapters come out first on there, not here.

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><p><em>Chapter Four: The Determinator<em>

Shadowkit wasn't a very heavy sleeper, that was for sure. But that didn't stop his surprise when he felt a nose prod his side, sending a shock wave of pain into his mid-back. He jolted up, suppressing a yelp of pain, as he heard a cat whisper his name. "Shadowkit, dear, it's time to get up. Hurry, now."

Opening his eyes at the urgency of his mother's voice, he stood up awkwardly, trying not to put pressure on the side where a long claw-scratch had coursed from his spine to his shoulder. _And Oakfoot wasn't even trying,_ he remembered, thinking of how the she-cat had fought so weakly, as if she was avoiding hurting them. Beside him, he saw Mudkit shake her fur, her green eyes bleary from being awoken.

"What's going on, mother?" Shadowkit asked, looking up at Lilytail. His mother was glancing out of the nursery into the dawn-lit camp, her eyes dark. She looked like she hadn't slept all night, and knowing his mother, that was not a far-off assumption to make. "Mother?"

Lilytail took a deep breath and leaned close to her kits. Mudkit seemed to have woken up more in the span of that few moments, and was now watching their mother intently. "Kits, I'm afraid we've had a rather serious tragedy."

"What do you mean?" Mudkit asked. "Did WindClan attack in the night to get back at us? Are we in big trouble?" Shadowkit saw his sister crouch down in fear out of the corner of his eye. _I think we would have been woken for that,_ He thought, but that didn't stop the worry that was beginning to compress his heart. _What's going on?_

"No, dear, it wasn't that," Lilytail said, though the warmth that her voice usually held was all but gone in the place of deep sorrow. "Mudkit, Shadowkit...I'm afraid, early this morning, Birchkit died."

Shadowkit felt his heart drop. "What?"

Mudkit pressed up against him. "H-he died? But...but how? He was only knocked out!" Her voice had risen to a cracked squeak. "I...I don't-" She broke off into a whimper, and Shadowkit wrapped his tail around her weakly.

"Mudkit, I'm so sorry...I know he was your friend." She curled around her kits, though Shadowkit couldn't get any warmth from his mother's fur. He was too shocked. _This can't be happening. He can't be dead. It's not right!_ "He was so young...Willowkit will need some help getting over this..."

Shadowkit was having trouble grasping the idea that he would never see his friend again. "This isn't right..." He let his head fall, staring at his paws. Lilytail licked his head, but he didn't find it as comforting as he used to.

"Icepaw is bringing his body out for a vigil. I wanted to let you know so that you could say goodbye to him." Shadowkit nodded, standing up weakly and padding towards the entrance. Mudkit lagged behind, her tail dragging the ground. He heard Lilytail get out of her nest to follow.

Shadowkit stepped into the half-lit clearing, and saw as Icepaw, the medicine cat apprentice, gently laid Birchkit's body in the center of the clearing. He looked down at the body that once belonged to his rival and friend, and let out a choked sob. His body had been cleaned of the blood, but his back was snapped like a branch in the brambles of ShadowClan's camp. He wanted to vomit at the sight, but his legs gave out on him first, and he sunk into a crouch next to the empty shell of a body that once housed Birchkit.

Mudkit was curled next to his head, shivering with sorrow. Lilytail hung back, though Shadowkit could see her watching the kits before she stood up and pressed her nose to Birchkit's motionless body.

After what seemed like moons laying there next to the corpse of his friend, a terrible thought struck Shadowkit, and his throat closed up a bit. He looked up at Lilytail and asked, "What's going to happen to Willowkit? What is she going to do without her brother? What if she doesn't want to become an apprentice anymore?"

Lilytail shook her head. "Willowkit is strong. I think she'll be fine in the long run. But maybe she could use some company, if you two want to go visit her in the medicine cat's den. Though," she added as Mudkit looked up, lowering her voice gently, "it would be a good idea if you checked in on Sagekit, too. She probably needs a friend now."

Shadowkit nodded, giving Birchkit's body one last glance before padding over to the medicine cat den with Mudkit following at his heels, her paws scraping along the dusty floor of the camp.

It was darker in there than it had been in the nursery; the only thing that Shadowkit was able to make out in the shadows were the forms of cats and vague pelt colors; the light grays of Icepaw and Willowkit, as well as the latter's parents, the brown of Quailspots, and the blob of darker grays that were Sootblaze and Sagekit.

As they entered, Quailspots looked up from where she had been sorting herbs. "Mudkit, Shadowkit." She sounded weary. "Please, come here. Let me check on you before you visit with your friends." Reluctantly, Shadowkit shuffled across the den, where Quailspots flicked her tail. "I'll let Icepaw take a look at you, Shadowkit. Mudkit, come here."

Sighing, Shadowkit padded over to Icepaw as his sister approached the Medicine cat. The apprentice was hunched over a pile of some flowers with bright yellow petals. Icepaw flicked one ear as Shadowkit approached, and he grudgingly sat down and waited for the light gray apprentice to get things going.

There was a slight breeze beside him as Icepaw spun around with some of the flower stems in his jaws. "Hi," he said around the plants. Shadowkit twitched his whiskers in greeting. "All right, then. Let me see your shoulder."

Shadowkit turned his back to Icepaw, and felt him begin to pull his fur away from the long claw-mark on his back. "Hmm. It's healing up nicely, that's for sure." Icepaw's voice was still hard to understand because of the stems. "But I'm going to add some more marigold juices. This'll sting, so be ready."

"Right," Shadowkit said, preparing himself. But just a moment too soon, Icepaw spat the juices onto his cut, and he couldn't bite back a hiss. He tensed himself as the medicine cat apprentice spat again and again, and the burning tingle became less intense each time.

"All right," Icepaw said, flicking Shadowkit with his tail, "You're free to go. Good luck." All too eagerly, Shadowkit stood up and padded over to where Mudkit, her wrenched claw treated, was waiting for him.

"What should we do?" Mudkit whispered. "Should we split up?"

Shadowkit thought for a moment, and remembered Sagekit's awkward attempt to cheer him up the day before. "Yes. You go ahead and talk to Willowkit. I'll go see Sagekit." His sister nodded, and he padded straight ahead to where Sootblaze and Sagekit lay, and for a moment, he thought that the little gray kit was dead too, from how still she lay.

"Sagekit?" She did not respond. _She could still be sleeping..._ He took a step closer and said, "Sagekit, when you wake up...Birchkit is dead, and-"

"I know," Sagekit's voice interjected, cold and quiet. Shadowkit blinked in surprise at the sudden change of character in the normally-timid gray tabby kit. "What do you want?"

Shadowkit flicked his tail, wishing he hadn't come. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He winced in anticipation of another stinging response.

Instead, there was no noise aside from the shifting of the bedding as Sagekit turned to face him. Surprisingly, Sootblaze was still sleeping, but he could have been awake well into the night to make sure that his daughter was out of the danger zone. Sagekit looked at him full on, and he had to stifle a gasp at half of her face; it was so torn and raw, ripped at by fangs that he could barely tell that the two halves formed a whole.

She was watching him now, her expression guarded and ears pointed toward the outside of her face. "I mean..." He searched for the words, but Sagekit's silence was making it difficult. The gray tabby just nodded, and he saw something flash in her eyes, but it was gone before he could see what it was. Sagekit flicked her tail, as if asking him to leave. "Uh. Alright then."

He shuffled across the den to where Willowkit was speaking with Mudkit. Birchkit's sister was laying with her head on her paws. Mudkit turned to him when he arrived. "Any luck?"

"Nothing." He admitted. Willowkit looked vaguely confused despite the raw pain in her amber eyes, and Shadowkit continued. "She was...cold. It was like she was angry or something."

Mudkit gave him a worried look before returning to the conversation she was having with Willowkit. "It's not your fault, and your parents DON'T blame you. I'm certain of it." Shadowkit guessed they were talking about the patrol; it HAD been Willowkit's idea...

"It doesn't matter, anyway. WindClan was the one that killed him. I'll get back at that Pikepelt one of these days." Willowkit was glaring at the side of the den now, and the look in her eyes suggested she was imagining tearing the gray tom apart at this moment. Shadowkit shuddered, but despite the grief and fear he felt, he couldn't help but admire her conviction.

Mudkit nodded. "Just wait till we're apprentices though, okay?"

"Right." With that, Willowkit curled back up, draping her tail over her ripped muzzle.

Shadowkit and Mudkit exchanged a glance, and reluctantly, he headed towards the exit with his sister. But before he could leave, a voice from behind him said his name, and he whipped around to see Sootblaze.

Before he could ask what he was doing, Sootblaze said, "I want to thank you for trying to help Sagekit and Willowkit." Shadowkit, surprised at the sudden praise, nodded. "They have their families for the grief now, but they'll need friends like you and Mudkit later." The dark gray tabby flicked his tail, and whisked up to go back to where Sagekit appeared to be sleeping. "You best get some rest."

Shadowkit stumbled out of the den and right into Mudkit. Lilytail had come to the medicine cats' den, but she and Mudkit were stopped outside as their mother and another cat exchanged glances across the clearing. The other cat, a dark brown tabby tom, flicked his tail, and padded out of the tunnel. Lilytail sighed, and Mudkit bowed her head.

Shadowkit, however, didn't feel anything resembling sorrow. Bitterness welled up where his grief for Birchkit had been, and he felt his fur start to rise on end. He spat on the ground, stalking towards the nursery.

"Shadowkit, wait!" He reluctantly stopped, lashing his tail back and forth. Mudkit padded forward slowly, and pressed her face to his uninjured shoulder. "Don't be mad now," she whimpered. "He'll pay attention someday."

Shadowkit nodded absently, feeling his anger ebb, but couldn't help but notice Lilytail's doubtful expression. _Why him? Why did he have to be our father?_ As if she heard the question, Lilytail sighed and ushered the siblings back towards the nursery with her tail. They passed Hawkstorm on the way out. _She must have been relieved, what with Sootblaze taking care of Sagekit._

Mudkit and Shadowkit laid down silently next to each other as their mother curled up on their nest. For a few heartbeats, there was nothing but silence, until Mudkit asked, "Will Eagleflight ever care, mother?"

Lilytail sighed. "I'm not sure, Mudkit. I promise you two," She gazed at them seriously, "That I never ONCE wanted this for my kits. I wanted him to be a father that you could respect and look up to, not one that was distant...but sometimes, that's just the way it works. You know that; your friend Adderpaw's father, Heronfrost, was never very close to him. Fathers have never had any obligation to their kits."

Shadowkit flattened his ears, feeling his claws unsheathe themselves. "Why do Sootblaze and Wrenstripe stick around, then?" Mudkit asked. Shadowkit winced at the mention of Birchkit's father. Yet Mudkit had asked this question many times before, seemingly never satisfied with whatever answer she got.

"Because every cat is very different. In every respect, including parenting, different cats have different ways to go about what happens in their lives."

Shadowkit released his hold on the nursery floor, looking down as memories of his friend and the pain of his passing mixed up with the continual edge of his father's negligence. "I don't ever want to be like that. It's like... abandoning responsibility."

Lilytail purred quietly. "That's a good way to think of it if you want a mate to stick around. However," she suddenly became serious, and Shadowkit looked up. "You have to learn to appreciate what you have, especially in light of such a tragedy. Just be glad that you have each other, and don't have to deal with the loss of a sibling, o-or a kit..." Lilytail trailed off, her voice shaking, and Shadowkit and Mudkit closer. "I-I'm just glad that you're okay..."

Shadowkit sat, stunned, as his mother licked each of their heads in turn. _We really could have died out there._ Despite the situation, he had forced the idea of what danger they had been in to the depths of his mind. _Oh, StarClan... _"W-we didn't mean to worry you," he said, "We just wanted to..."

"I'm sorry, mother," Mudkit whimpered, curling closer. "We didn't want this to happen..."

"I know you didn't." Lilytail laid her chin on the top of their heads. Mudkit had begun to shake with sobs, and Shadowkit felt himself trembling along. "But I was so, so scared for you."

Shadowkit pressed himself closer into his mother's fur. _If she was this scared, how could Willowkit's parents possibly feel?_ He sobbed raggedly. _He didn't even get to be an apprentice with us. Birchkit...why did this have to happen to you? I always thought you were so strong...I thought you were so brave..._ "M-mother..." Lilytail looked down at him. "I-I want to be s-strong and brave like Birchkit was..."

"Oh, Shadowkit..." He felt his mother's tail wrap around him. "You don't have anything to prove."

"I don't want to prove," Shadowkit said, pulling away from his mother and sister as he searched for the words. "I want to honor my fallen friend." Mudkit looked at him, surprised, and Lilytail's eyes suddenly became sad again, and he allowed himself to be pulled back in.

_You hear that, Birchkit?_ He thought, hoping his thoughts would reach his friend in StarClan. _It's a promise now._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** ...My friends say I write depressing things :c

I'm very sorry about the wait for this chapter. I have a LOT of things going on, between school and other writing projects and art projects.

But I hope that any of you that like Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's will be willing to read a LONG fanfic that I plan to write later on~~


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